Sunday, 2 April 2017

The story continues-Part-2

And Lets assume what these conventional minds (as in the Parents-Mom-Dad -ama-abba-abbu gee and meri maa -uski maa-unkay abbu and hamaray abbu) brood and play in  their recorder to us ; is even correct.

Why is it so difficult to say 'yes' .
Isn't this too self-opinionated a system where what I think for my child is correct and what he; the boy (bechara') the poor soul who; am sure has certainly given a lot of time thinking and finally taken decision is WRONG '.

I mean really , why this haye haww and hum tu barbaad hogaye wala Complex scene all the time.

Am sure if i was a parent and I was to take such a decision I will definitely have a TALK and go about all my concerns and ensure he is safe and well-prepared for his future.And if he is not i will rather prepare him and give him whatever "add-on's he need to complete and climb this mount Everest jitni life.

Its really upsetting that half or may be 99% of Asian parents think and see from ' some maa ki ankh' as they call it which in their emotional dictionary definitely means " i tell you how to live , sit and eat , you are born to follow.'

I might sound very emotional too but I actually feel sad that a lot of these girls  and boys are genuinely good kids.
They do look forward for their parents approvals and at the end they either run away or do some forcefully arranged less unhappy marriages and fail to even go back on their parents and say ' Look what you did to me >>'

I know this friend of mine, a very genuine person, amazingly qualified an engineer , married this army guy -an arranged setup and got divorced like few days after her nikkah and nobody raised it against parents.Forget anyone else, SHE didn't. And all we saw was the family broke inside;as in nobody trusted each other again.

So why not let these life decisions be taken by the one who are the real drivers of that journey and not the ones watching the race.Am sure the driver would know better and not the ones who might be more experienced drivers some 20+ more years experience.Accepted!

But was it a good sample for them to make judgements?

Didn't you just  had one machine not all. I think every human is different and we should have in entirety complete freedom to live, chose and drive our lives ourselves.

You only married one 'woman' than why so predictive about all the women out there?
why so protective towards your children that you never let them marry.

I mean half of my age fellows are not married because their parents were very tough on them or the girl friend parents changed positions, so yeah  monster or no monsters something was always there.

The part of comments i heard from these people is crazy , funny and ironical at the same time.

Abba to the candidate : Beta you don't earn enough , I cant trust my daughter with you.
Criticism: alright tu uncle do u expect him to drive a jaguar at the age of 24 or own a helicopter?

Abba again : No you cant, she is from a different mazhab and it will be  a disaster if you did it.
Criticism : O man really like you married one and you know how it goes, am sure one of your friend did that and you made assumptions of their lives and passed it on to everyone.Surely you never saw beyond their bad stories, their good and happy moments and amazing lifestyle.As you were so judgmental , that all you saw was a thin line on the windscreen and not the beautiful view ahead.

Forget this , there is a lot more than just these opinions .Each time these kids go out, the parents would criticize and emotionally abuse them to the point that they self-doubt and literally lose it at times.

There is this dark side of the moon and the bright side.I wish people could see the bright one more clearly ,so much so that the dark gets invisible or at least 'Acceptable'.

When I  was like 18, I would read a lot into peoples relationship lives and a lot of me changed.
I realized and learned how to let go and let people be free from a completely conservative to a completely non-judgmental way.

And the change made things so easy that it surprises me sometime.

Like I really think we need to ask our parents for good or bad.
Can you at least let us try even if we have to fall and learn ?
And we truly need you to understand us, to support us , no matter what!
Try not to judge people and pre-assume things?
And For good Lord sake , stop emotionally abusing and black mailing us?

So yes , the youth need to learn the art of convincing their parents and never in any case ,decide to leave their parents.

I mean that just shouldn't be an option for anyone, no matter what islam says to you, it never said , leave the ones who gave you everything.

All it should mean is to convince them and make them your support even for your life to come.
 So yes love them , even more and just try to bring change in the family dynamics.It will take ages but yeah it will change things.

Friday, 10 June 2016

Lets start  with the  Cliche relationship  Story!

Don't tell me you.......too (Part-1)

Like you also felt too conscious about what your guy wears and wanted to make him look like Brad Pitt .. not that I like him but just saying for the sake of name tagging. I liked Josh Hartnett, Chris Hemsworth, Luke Wilson (the guy from the movie " Legally Blonde - yeah the professor ; that'
s who am talking about).Even the old classic character in Jane Eyre of " Mr.Rochester" was one hell of an imaginary character I raised as someone so real that every guy I would see was actually repeating his dialogues to me "Jane.. Jane you the most un-earthy thing, I own you as my own flesh".

Yeah I know, wayyy too fantastical but that is how I saw it.. It was like OMG! I found a guy and than it just went on and on in my small little head about him only.

And if  I connect you .. like take you back to the general state of mind you get in when and how usually we fall for people. Not that I am saying all girls fall like that. Yet am sure some of us do. It's such an easy pickup for every guy out there.

First Point:
Man! You are so interesting, I love that smile of yours.. it is so killing.

Second Point: 

Can we be friends? (Which meant more than friends)

And now you are in your head thinking that I don't even know him and still brooding over that.. you say yeah. (Because what else would/could you say?!)

That's when we lose it!
That's exactly where we lose our Center... 
.. as in everything becomes their center and we just forget who we are.

Its so surprising that every woman, at-least most of the ones I have met and read about, fell insanely for men and so self-effacingly that we even forget we matter first.

Like I still don't know why we care like a Mother even when we aren't one. Its so instinctive that we don't even know how to control it.

And thereon the relation begins from pretty to sexy/lovely to merijaan and you and the La La Land starts.And then suddenly when all was going fine, you hear a loud noise and that's the girl crying.

Girl: OMG am scared!!
And now the guy becomes bechara ( like always) as he doesn't even know where he touched or what he hit that this came out.

Girl: I don't know ... I  feel like you're gonna leave me. Please marry me.

Boy: Good Lord!!!... Marriage?!?! 
Like really .. for the guys its like "I came down to window-shop, not shop shop! But damn.. now I am caught sooo off guard!" 
Like a big block of ice, just fell on his head and now he is lost.

On the other hand girls think,"he is the 'Casanova' and a playboy etc. etc... Why didn't he think about it before?"

And that's when this girly-girl opens her dirty laundry and twists his words and his brain and brings herself to a "zero" point.

I think instead of doing all the cliche and repetitive stuff, try something new?!
Try living in the moment and taste how it feels to be free. 
Free of all the nervy points and just live to not reach an end but to live the moment.
Nonetheless I think to love someone, you don't need to own them or control them or take them away from everybody and feel all secure.

Love in the true sense should be 'free'.
Because when you control it, it flows away and only bodies remain.

But I guess this is becoming out of context but what I was saying is that whether you are in love or have just started a relationship or are figuring out if you love this person... don't try to hold them or the relationship.
Like my sister would say it... Live in the moments so that you can live for yourself!

We tend to suffocate ourselves by creating all these unwanted thoughts and worries for ourselves in relationships. Every time you fall for a guy..  Mean it. Enjoy it.

What has to stay, will stay.. 

Trust me your trying to keep it will do nothing and it's better to live every step free of remorse and regrets.
I kind of drifted away from the subject so lets move on to the better stuff.

So yeah back to the craze and love games!!!

And now after the twist, the real game comes to play when these men would take charge of this little girl and go like, "OK honey am gonna speak to my mom!"

And this MOM...


Well.. don't you take that to be easy.

We are now at             <<<<<<<<LIFE INTERMISSION>>>>>

That's the HULK 2020!!!
We are talking about the real deal... like really! 

She will never be happy, never satisfied, never understand what her son wants.
Even if you are a Brigadier's daughter with a gori skin and tall height and smooth feet.
Even if you wear the most sophisticated nice chappals underneath and wear the nice chiffon dupatta overhead, this monster is definitely not on.. like not at all.

Sometimes I used to think.. are all moms crazy? or is it that they want to own their sons till death and exploit their sons with their authority...

I can write an episode full of deadly disasters for this one character.

The boyfriend's mom!!!

A mother-in-law to-be but if she has her way than the mother-in-law never to-be.

Yeah you heard me. That's correct..  the villain! 
I have even tried to see form her perspective, never worked. Specially if you have mistakenly chosen the "decent type" of guy.. you will never get him.
So yeah.. rather than that, chose a more bold and rebellious kid with no mom, if possible and if not... than hopefully the rebellious trait may come in handy.

Because the seedha sadha type of larka will just come in the real time drama his mom will do right after his confession. Lets take a screenshot of the real scene happening-

Son: Mom .. I love her.. 
Mom: Love her ??!!! Hayee mein barbaad hogayi .. aaj yeh din dekhna tha bas.. Mar kyun nahi gaye yeh din dekhnay se pehle!!
Son: Mom but what's wrong? .. She is a pretty decent girl.
Mom: Koi decent wecent nahi hotein yeh sab bari taiz hotein hein.. meray bachay ko kharab kardiya!! patanahi kitno ke saath kiya hoga. ( these Maayen don't even think they themselves were girls once)
Son: Mom apko kiya hogaya hai yaar....
Mom: Kuch nahi huwa mujhay! Bas dafa hojao
Son: Mom I will marry just her
Mom: Jao phir meray marnay ke baad karlena, meray jeetay jee i wont let it happen.

So this was the mom who would speak.. Then there are those who don't speak;

Son: Mom (Repeats words)

Mom: *starts crying* *goes to her room* *wont talk to him for days* (basically make him feel so bad that he goes in a guilt trip)

Result = Mom is happy and satisfied cuz mission achieved.

Insert *really the happy face*

I am sure you wanna ask.. if these moms really love their sons or themselves??The answer is none.Their ego is what these moms create a shrine of.For them its not about which girl their son will marry.. Its just about "I will choose her" which causes all this. Its surprising, a little ironical that these idiot sons don't even realize that they just got played by their very own mothers.I mean lets stop a bit..  Let me take a few more minutes as I want us all to think here.


For US:
Are we some kind of investments are parents want the dividends off at the time of marriage?( Trust me am n't raising a rebel here).Why don't we think  its us who need to choose what fits our  personalities best?

For our PARENTS:
Do you really love me or your ego? MomDid you even for a minute, tried giving the girl a fair chance? Maybe value her on a general spectrum and then assess her?Will you ever prioritize my needs over society expectations?


Like Really?

Lets take a casual walk down this blog and introduce you to the idea of this one window writing page which i intend to use as a park for people of all races, gender ,cast and creed to share and relate to what I lived and learned in my life.

So I will discuss everything from relationship to motherhood ,from sisterhood to bosses and from government to social issues and from everything else to anything we all face in our everyday lives.

So I mean everything in its real sense.