Sunday, 2 April 2017

The story continues-Part-2

And Lets assume what these conventional minds (as in the Parents-Mom-Dad -ama-abba-abbu gee and meri maa -uski maa-unkay abbu and hamaray abbu) brood and play in  their recorder to us ; is even correct.

Why is it so difficult to say 'yes' .
Isn't this too self-opinionated a system where what I think for my child is correct and what he; the boy (bechara') the poor soul who; am sure has certainly given a lot of time thinking and finally taken decision is WRONG '.

I mean really , why this haye haww and hum tu barbaad hogaye wala Complex scene all the time.

Am sure if i was a parent and I was to take such a decision I will definitely have a TALK and go about all my concerns and ensure he is safe and well-prepared for his future.And if he is not i will rather prepare him and give him whatever "add-on's he need to complete and climb this mount Everest jitni life.

Its really upsetting that half or may be 99% of Asian parents think and see from ' some maa ki ankh' as they call it which in their emotional dictionary definitely means " i tell you how to live , sit and eat , you are born to follow.'

I might sound very emotional too but I actually feel sad that a lot of these girls  and boys are genuinely good kids.
They do look forward for their parents approvals and at the end they either run away or do some forcefully arranged less unhappy marriages and fail to even go back on their parents and say ' Look what you did to me >>'

I know this friend of mine, a very genuine person, amazingly qualified an engineer , married this army guy -an arranged setup and got divorced like few days after her nikkah and nobody raised it against parents.Forget anyone else, SHE didn't. And all we saw was the family broke inside;as in nobody trusted each other again.

So why not let these life decisions be taken by the one who are the real drivers of that journey and not the ones watching the race.Am sure the driver would know better and not the ones who might be more experienced drivers some 20+ more years experience.Accepted!

But was it a good sample for them to make judgements?

Didn't you just  had one machine not all. I think every human is different and we should have in entirety complete freedom to live, chose and drive our lives ourselves.

You only married one 'woman' than why so predictive about all the women out there?
why so protective towards your children that you never let them marry.

I mean half of my age fellows are not married because their parents were very tough on them or the girl friend parents changed positions, so yeah  monster or no monsters something was always there.

The part of comments i heard from these people is crazy , funny and ironical at the same time.

Abba to the candidate : Beta you don't earn enough , I cant trust my daughter with you.
Criticism: alright tu uncle do u expect him to drive a jaguar at the age of 24 or own a helicopter?

Abba again : No you cant, she is from a different mazhab and it will be  a disaster if you did it.
Criticism : O man really like you married one and you know how it goes, am sure one of your friend did that and you made assumptions of their lives and passed it on to everyone.Surely you never saw beyond their bad stories, their good and happy moments and amazing lifestyle.As you were so judgmental , that all you saw was a thin line on the windscreen and not the beautiful view ahead.

Forget this , there is a lot more than just these opinions .Each time these kids go out, the parents would criticize and emotionally abuse them to the point that they self-doubt and literally lose it at times.

There is this dark side of the moon and the bright side.I wish people could see the bright one more clearly ,so much so that the dark gets invisible or at least 'Acceptable'.

When I  was like 18, I would read a lot into peoples relationship lives and a lot of me changed.
I realized and learned how to let go and let people be free from a completely conservative to a completely non-judgmental way.

And the change made things so easy that it surprises me sometime.

Like I really think we need to ask our parents for good or bad.
Can you at least let us try even if we have to fall and learn ?
And we truly need you to understand us, to support us , no matter what!
Try not to judge people and pre-assume things?
And For good Lord sake , stop emotionally abusing and black mailing us?

So yes , the youth need to learn the art of convincing their parents and never in any case ,decide to leave their parents.

I mean that just shouldn't be an option for anyone, no matter what islam says to you, it never said , leave the ones who gave you everything.

All it should mean is to convince them and make them your support even for your life to come.
 So yes love them , even more and just try to bring change in the family dynamics.It will take ages but yeah it will change things.